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4 Steps to Lasting Personal Growth

Maybe I am naive but I truly believe every person is trying, often very hard, and with their whole heart, to be a better person. We all strive to be wiser, more stable and easygoing, more loving and loved.

After all - our inner wellbeing colors everything right? How we treat our loved ones? perform at work? How present and happy we are in each little moment?

I was pretty desperate for this - I talked to every wise person I knew, I scoured the internet, and was lead to self help books, therapy, medication, affirmations, diet changes, exercises, causes to volunteer for, hobbies, and holistic and supplemental health treatments.

I learned so much - practical tools, self sufficiency - realized the importance of a holistic approach and self care... but, my to do list was HUGE and overwhelming - so once again I found sadness, stress and anxiety.

l felt scared, hopeless.. what do I do now? I'm doing everything! I'm tired of talking about the same BS to a therapist who gives me no tools. I'm sick of "positive thinking".

I was RUNNING, desperately, from anything painful...which turned out to be be percisely the "problem"

1. Take a risk

Reflect back on your life - when did you make the biggest growth spurts?

For me, and for many others, it was during times of great challenges. I hold these memories so sacred - not with altogether pleasantness: there's still pain attached, but there's also appreciation, a sense of empowerment, self assuredness, and pride.

The darkness in our lives inspires us to find the light. Every danger we face, every moment of loss and confusion forces us to adapt and grow.

This doesn't have to be drastic, so what can taking on a risk look like?

2. Face what you like least

What scares you about yourself? others? life? What do you like the least? Try to avoid?

This isn't going to be pleasant - guess what? Those things are never going away.

Life, people, YOU are hard, exhausting, confusing, stupid, cruel, unfair, hateful. Running away from this truth only makes us more heartbroken when we encounter them again. Which we will, over and over.

It is time to accept that life, people, you are whole things encompassing light and dark. You can't have one without the other, and as you learned from reflection in 1, as scary as the darkness can be, it actually creates the most light in our lives.

3. Embrace uncertainty

Have you ever seen the fool card from the tarot?

He's just a dude walking off a cliff and seems to not even realize it. A dog is barking at him and yanking at his leg trying to save him. He's in the middle of nowhere and he has nothing. He's not even looking where he's going - he's looking at a fucking flower.